The irony of the phrase, “I do”

A long, cold winter is over and the warmth and blooming flowers of April spring promises a romantic setting for a beautiful wedding. In fact the most popular wedding the whole world is awaiting to witness this month is the royal wedding of Prince William and Kate.  What about you? Imagine that today is your wedding day. You are excited and happy. You feel like a new world is smiling to you and waiting for you to walk in. You have been dreaming for this, your ultimate joy and the final waiting stage of your relationship. Then you feel weird and petrified, mixed emotions running through your spine and suddenly you realised that you cannot go back anymore.  It’s the end of the road from your freedom of being single. With this sudden swift of fear, you ask yourself, ' is it still possible to say no and bid goodbye at this point?' Your conscience tells you that it is a catastrophic thing to do. Well of course this is not just an ordinary event - it is your big wedding and it must be a costly one too.  Besides everyone in your family and friends are waiting for this special occasion. With your wedding song in the air you remember of how much you wanted this so badly and now the day has come. As you are heading to the altar your decision is final, ‘you want to get married’. You feel ready to take on another road towards the journey of a married life. Has it ever made you wonder? A wedding is only a day of sacred and momentous ceremony in a couple’s life yet once it’s done it is meant to last a lifetime. Very ironic, huh?  Why do marital vows fail horribly sad in the end for some? Every couple intends to keep their vows and stay married forever in the first place. Is it a lack of personal serious decision making process or cultural unity or commitment and or a question of morals, familial dispute, etc?  Is it because the world is too modern and some marriages simply started with the most unusual and exceptional reasons. Like one young couple who married because one day they felt they were on top of the world and got separated the next when they realised that it was a spur of the moment thing. Bizarre and funny to accentuate but the phrase, ‘I do’ is an ongoing trend rather than a finest family tradition to honour and to cherish. Can long marriages die out through generation? Right now with an ever increasing divorce and separation, there is no doubt that society’s perception behind the sacred meaning of the vows; ‘I do’ has changed over the years. This leaves you to decide, for whatever it takes whether to follow the trend or keep a century’s tradition intact. May I end, saying, “Your marriage' fate lies in your hands.” I wish you a happy wedding day! Until next time...be well.        

With all my love...Happy Mother’s Day!!

Mother’s day is fast approaching. Some countries celebrate it on different dates from others. Here in UK this year it will fall on the 3rd of April.  How Mother’s day began and evolved from generation to generation is a story worth knowing. You may ask it from your folks and surely they will tell you with sentiments and if you like you may go to the web. Regardless how your country tells its own story one thing is for sure, ‘Mothers Day’ is celebrated to give recognition, appreciation and gratitude to all the mothers in the world for their unconditional love and sacrifices for their children. The reason why I am writing this was born out of curiosity of me as a mother. Inevitably I am confronted with difficult questions for myself to answer, ‘Am I a good mother?’ ‘Does my mothering skill deserving of this significant celebration?’ ‘What is it that I have done or haven’t done that made me a good or a bad one?’ Mentally the questions go on and on. I love the idea that I have a selection of the best answers to these questions to favour me indiscriminately but I can’t. To some point I have to be honest to myself – simply I am not good enough in as much as I would like to celebrate and scream to the world, ‘Hey folks I am a good mother and my children can vouch for it.’ ‘Ask them and they will tell you!’ I sound wholly critical of myself but its very hard not to. Looking back, I must admit I did not do too much for my kids. I love them yes but they never had me most of the time – to witness every little thing that matters to them including some big moments or decisions in their lives. If I could start again maybe I would be wiser and I would find a way to be always with them. I do know though that this judgment that I cast on myself is not the same judgment that my children have on me. It is an absolute certainty that my children love me. There is no doubt in my heart that they have understood my shortcomings and have forgiven me. Therefore I would like to conclude as you can tell that I am one of the luckiest mums in the world. To other mums who think I am too far out of your league, I salute you for being perfect. To the rest of mums who can identify with me, do not hammer yourselves, your children love you. Pardon me, I maybe lying here, your circumstances and your children probably maybe different from mine. Mothering after all is very complicated. Taking the positive side of life what constitutes a good or a bad mother is very mysterious to define. In this ever changing world kids are not as simple as we think they are.  Happy Mother’s Day!  Until next time...be well.

Destiny - Is it for you?

Do you believe in destiny?  I do and I can only speak for myself. I never really planned my future. I am the type who deals with life as it comes – laugh when it’s okay and cries when it’s not. I came from a middle class family. In terms of inheritance both my parents have substantial land properties. These did not necessarily provide sufficient cash flow. We siblings were told by our parents to study hard and get a degree to land a good job.  I have to confess though that I did not get through where I am now in a conventional 'student' way. There were so many ups and downs in my personal and career life. I lost my first relationship and I was in a different career. Regardless I dealt with my life with gusto and fun as it happens. Never surrendered and get depressed for long because I could not afford to. Then one day whilst working for a recruitment company, it suddenly occurred to me, why not become a nurse and avail these recruitment career opportunities abroad instead. At that time my boss told me, “are you mad, you have a lucrative job,” my mother advised me, “you are too old to study again, and”my cousin commented you have fear of germs, you’ll never make it.” The rest is history. You may argue I chose to be a nurse despite of discouragement. I remain to believe that it was a predestined choice as my awareness to do it unfolded at that precise point in my life. By the way a caption underneath my high school graduation album reads, “I want to become a nurse.” I deviated too long from becoming one (I was 33 years old when I started) but then in the end I chose to be a nurse. Do you have a long list of plans for your future?  May I suggest whatever you have in mind, do not forget to enjoy life...it is too short and you never know what’s around the corner? Remember this message is for you with a touch of love. Until next time...be well.

"Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder."

I'd like to start my blog about something that I have seen today. They were magical. I saw a plant with leaves so red and these leaves were blown by air that they appeared to be dancing underneath a bright sunny day. This plant has no flowers but when I looked at it from our lounge window it was beautiful. To me it radiated a sense of pride and beauty through its simplicity. Beside this red leaf plant was another plant with dainty yellow flowers blooming in unevenly fashion. The flowers were so pretty, I could see little flying bees hovering around their petals. To me these not so famous yellow flowers were so attractive - I wondered why passers by haven't noticed them or have they at another time or day? If nobody has noticed them, I have and hold on, there was a cob web on the red leaf plant and bees on the yellow one. Obviously these little creatures (have not seen the spider only the web) have noticed them too but did not go for the same plant. They seemingly have their own nature's needs and reasons? For me, I believe and I quote, "Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder." With a touch of love, I'd like to say this to you - you are beautiful and you are special, maybe not to  everyone's eyes, yet there is always someone.......:) I hope you have enjoyed reading our subject today. I'll try to take pics of these plants so I can post them for you to see. Until next time...be well.